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Bamf

Real Name: Bamf
First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men #153

To entertain Colossus’ little sister, Illyana, the X-Men youngest member, Kitty Pryde, wove a magical tale of high adventure in which transmuted versions of her fellow X-Men were the stars.

Kurt became the loveable, if somewhat hyperactive, Bamf. A small, almost smurf-like creature, Bamf has excessively overactive hormones and can’t resist a pretty face. As Kurt and Logan listened in, Kurt commented that he was not at all impressed by Kitty’s interpretation of him. Logan however thought Kitty had hit the nail rather firmly on the head.

Personal Opinion: Isn’t he just the cutest thing? You can see why this little critter became a mainstay in the X-Men universe as a stuffed toy. Amanda had one to keep her company when her then beau was not around. Kitty had one too which she left with the ailing Illyana when she contracted the Legacy Virus. Jubilee also found comfort in the cute little thing, eventually returning it to Kitty after Illyana’s death.





Limbo Kurt

Real Name: Kurt Wagner
First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men #160

When the X-Men wound up in the otherworldly dimension of Limbo they discovered that they had somehow been there before. In fact…some of them were still there. The normal laws that govern the universe have no effect in Limbo, so visitors can be both young and old, alive and dead, good and evil, all at the same time, depending on choices made and paths taken.

Limbo’s Kurt was one of only two surviving X-Men that had been dwelling in the shadowy realm for sometime after their battle with Limbo’s lord and master, Belasco, went terribly wrong. Almost dead, Belasco saved his life, reshaping him, body and soul, into the perfect servant.

Not essential evil, he was a twisted, perverted version of the original and sought only to free himself from slavery, using any means available. The guy also seems to be pretty much immortal…he died at the hands of the Limbo version of Kitty in the Magik limited series, and then at the hand of his master, Belasco in X-Men Unlimited…

Personal Opinion: What can I say but ‘euew’! This guy is just plan creepy…and a pretty awful dresser. But I have to feel a little sorry for him…imagining what he went through at the hand (he DOES only have on after all) of Belasco to become what he is. Relatively harmless if somewhat lecherous…the real Kurt was pretty disgusted by him…but still managed to kick his butt.





Mojo Kurt



Real Name: Kurt Wagner
First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men Annual #10

Not sure this one actually counts as an ‘alternate’ Kurt, because he’s actually the real thing. When Longshot made his arrival in the Danger Room, he covered the team with some sort of goo, which magically disappeared. It wasn’t until the following morning that it was discovered that the goo was actually making the X-Men age rapidly in reverse…they were all getting younger, fast! The New Mutants tried their best to contain the young, and extremely mischievous, X-Men, but they soon escaped, in search of whoever it was that was responsible.

They discovered it was Mojo, an inter-dimensional television magnate who had found that the X-Men’s adventures brought big ratings…and he wanted the team to work for him. So he regressed them to childhood in order to remake them in his own image. But they managed to break his control. However…he still got what he wanted through his gift to Psylock…a set of bionic eyes that transmitted everything she saw back to his Mojoworld…

Personal Opinion: This is actually quite a stylish look (and much better than some of the other X-Men got). The all black with touches of armour…reminds me of another alternate Kurt…and the little kiddy Kurt…he’s just as cute as Bamf!





Lightning Squad Kurt

Real Name: Kurt Wagner (assumed)
First Appearance: Excalibur #9

Born into a world where Germany won the Second World War, this Kurt Wagner has grown up under the beliefs of the Third Reich, so therefore is, quite literally, a totally Nazi. Though not actually evil, he can be perceived as such due to the usually reaction to the fascist belief system he was raised under.

Frighteningly similar to the original, he also has a flamboyant, swashbuckling nature, but whereas the original is a harmless flirt, this version is a borderline rapist, and certainly not the type to take ‘no’ for an answer.

Personal Opinion: This guy is just plain cocky. And such a sleaze! Even though he IS Kurt, there isn’t much to like about him. Not the most disgusting alternate Kurt to look at…he’s got to be one of the worst when it comes to thought processes. And he smokes too! YUK!





Kymri



Real Name: Kymri
First Appearance: Excalibur #16

Is Kymri truly an alternate Kurt?

She looks like him…she acts like him…she can kick butt and buckle swashes like him…who’s to say Kurt’s destined to be a guy in every reality?

Like Kurt, she’s the child of nobility (Kurt’s unnamed father is, after all, a Bavarian noble man…at least that’s what his mother said), but prefers a life of adventure to the pampered existence that is her birthright. She’s also quite a flirt…though neither she nor Kurt flirted with each other…she was interested in long-time Excalibur collaborator, Alistair Stuart, while Kurt was, well, extremely interesting to just about every other unattached female in the vicinity…almost as if they instinctively knew something…

Personal Opinion: Either gender…Kurt’s still a major babe…she really is Kurt with a pair of x-chromosomes…





Justicer Cadbury

Real Name: Cadbury
First Appearance: Excalibur #23

A non-powered, completely human version of Nightcrawler, encountered during the Cross-Time Caper.

Dwelling in a dimension where being a ‘super-being’ is a criminal offence, he works as a Justicer, sort of a police officer charged to bring super-beings to justice. At first startled by his uncanny resemblance to the blue-furred Nightcrawler, his attempts to apprehend the obvious mutant are thwarted by his doppelganger’s superior agility, until Justicer Bull, simply shoots Nightcrawler with a high-powered stun weapon.

Not dissimilar to Kurt, he is a flirt and a bit of a show-off. Though he attacks Kurt without provocation, he is just following the letter of the law of his world.

Personal Opinion: Cadbury is pretty much harmless…and quite amusing. Not particularly nice when it comes to the treatment of non-human looking super beings, he got what he deserved…Nightcrawler’s fist to the jaw!





Khaos

Real Name: Khaos
First Appearance: Excalibur Annual #1

A black-skinned, sword wielding, metal winged version of Kurt from a dimension ruled by dark magic. Khaos possesses some magical ability, called ‘technomagic’ on his world, which he uses to battle a one-eyed wizard named Ghath.

The abducted son of the emperor of the Dark Elves, he was adopted by Fair Elfin royalty, and so is therefore heir to both Elfin kingdoms. He is sworn to protect his world, Irth, from evil.

Khaos is one of the variants that least resembles the original. He doesn’t possess a tail or Nightcrawler’s customary fangs and he has five-fingered hands and normal looking feet. He’s much darker than Kurt, and has no qualms about murdering of wrecking havoc…

Personal Opinion: I’m pretty indifferent about Khaos. He only appeared once, a confused and confusing character…the wings were pretty cool though…





Age Of Apocalypse Kurt

Real Name: Kurt Darkholme
First Appearance: X-Men Alpha

When Charles Xavier’s son, Legion, attempted to right the world’s wrongs by travelling to the past and destroying Magneto, he accidentally killed his father instead. His actions caused a ripple effect that altered reality. Without Xavier’s ideals to appose him, the evil mutant Apocalypse came to power.

The X-Men still existed in this reality however. Led by Magneto, they were all much darker heroes than the originals. In this world, Nightcrawler was raised by his mother, Raven Darkholme, and though still a force for good, lacked the carefree sprit of the original. He even used his ability to teleport in a way the original probably never considered, by taking hold of an enemy and teleporting part of them with him, he could seriously injure of even kill them.

Personal Opinion: Kurt Darkholme has to be my favourite of all the alternate Kurts…in fact, until Ultimate Kurt bamfed along, he was really the only one I liked at all. The armour…the swords…the tattoo…this is Kurt with attitude…Kurt with an edge…and you’d never see this guy signing up for the priesthood! In fact, given the choice between this version and the original…I think I’d be hard pressed to make a decision…





Michael Darkholme

Real Name: Michael Darkholme
First Appearance: What if…? #98

What if Raven Darkholme hadn’t abandoned her newborn son? What if she’d become an overly protective mother to her little blue-furred boy?

Michael Darkholme is much like Kurt Wagner…he’s sweet and caring, an athletic, sword wielding movie-loving youngster. He’s more artistic (he paints) and no where near as outgoing or flamboyant…but then who would be if their mother kept them locked in the attic?

He lacks Kurt’s confidence, and isn’t at all comfortable with his unique appearance, something that Kurt all but relishes. Too timid to stand up to his mother, it isn’t until Rogue enters his life that he makes the attempt to take a step into the outside world. Unfortunately for him, his first step proved to be his last, as his mother’s Brotherhood of Mutants mistook him for an agent of Charles Xavier and attacked him with everything they had…

Personal Opinion: If this is how Kurt would have turned out if Mystique had raised him herself I for one am glad she dropped him over the falls! As sweet as Michael is, he’s a total wuss! A complete momma’s boy. If Rogue hadn’t shown up he’d STILL be locked in the attic…but then…he’d also still be alive…





Nightcreeper

Real Name: Jack (last name unrevealed)
First Appearance: JLX #1

What happens when universes collide?

A combination of Marvel’s Nightcrawler and DC’s the Creeper, Nightcreeper physically resembles Nightcrawler, except for the green colouring, but his personality is a far cry for the charismatic charmer. Nightcreeper is an egotistically, self-serving pain in the butt, and not particularly beloved by his teammates, his heroic efforts seem more an opportunity to show off than the wish to actually help people…

Personal Opinion: I don’t know anything about The Creeper…I don’t read any DC comics, so I can only assume that his persona is dominate in this amalgam…Nightcreeper is NOTHING like Kurt…well…he DOES have a sense of fun, but, though Kurt is comfortable with who he is, he’s not as full of himself as this guy is!





Creepycrawler

Real Name: Not applicable
First Appearance: Pint-Sized X-Babies #1

Genetically created by Mojo to star in one of his insane TV programs, Creepycrawler was made in the image of Nightcrawler, though a fraction of his age. The exploits of the ‘other worldly’ X-Men were a ratings juggernaut for Mojo, so when his access to the real deal fell through, he decided to make his own much younger, and he assumed, more easily controllable versions. Creepycrawler and all the X-Babies, look and act like toddlers, but still possess the heroic natures of their full-grown counterparts. Because of this, they rebelled against their master and now do everything in their power to thwart his evil schemes…

Creepycrawler is much like the pre-priest Kurt…a fun-loving adventurous spirit with a tendency to get into trouble, and the ability to get out of it again…

Personal Opinion: I don’t know who’s cuter…Creepycrawler or Bamf…





Evolution Kurt



Real Name: Kurt Wagner
First Appearance: Strategy X (X-Men: Evolution ~ Episode 1)

A much younger and less confident version of Kurt than the one recruited by Charles Xavier in Giant Size X-Men #1, this Kurt has yet to come to terms with his unusual appearance and relies heavily on the image inducer presented to him on his arrival to ‘fit in’, even amongst other mutants. This has allowed him to overcome his understandable shyness, allowing his plucky, flirtatious personality to emerge. Though how the revelation of mutants to the world will effect him remains to be seen…

Like his comicbook counterpart he had no idea of his true parentage, he was adopted by the couple who fished him out of a river. He would discover that his birth mother was one of the X-Men’s greatest foes, Mystique, though she seems to care a great deal more for her blue-furred boy than the comic’s version, but like the comics, the two are yet to deal with this particular relationship…

Personal Opinion: Definitely my favourite animated version of Nightcrawler…he’s cute as a button, full of fun…and a regular cast member. In fact, he is arguably the most popular character on the show…maybe even more so than the much overrated Wolverine…the pair seem to be the only characters that have appeared in EVERY episode (to my knowledge…but then…I haven’t seen them all…)





Ultimate Kurt

Real Name: Kurt Wagner
First Appearance: Ultimate X-Men #7

Abducted from his Bavarian home by the Weapon X program, young Kurt Wagner was transformed into a brimstone-breathed biological weapon of mass destruction. Quite possibly the most uncontrollable of the program’s subjects since Wolverine, he too managed to escape the compound, killing several guards in his bid for freedom. Unfortunately, he was recaptured, and severely punished (the soles of his feet were burnt until he could no longer feel pain) as an example to the other mutant residents should they think to escape. Though he survived this ordeal, he was hardly in the best of shape, physically, mentally or emotionally.

When the X-Men were targeted and captured to increase the ranks of Weapon X, Jean Gray befriended the unusual looking Nightcrawler, and managed to get around the language barrier (this version doesn’t speak a word of English), and returned to him something he’d lost long ago…hope.

After several missions with his newfound friends, the X-Men’s rivals, Magneto’s Brotherhood of Mutants, affected a jailbreak, the Weapon X program was soon decimated by its former operatives. Kurt then surprised all concerned by siding with neither team, opting instead to return home…

Personal Opinion: Can you believe that this guy is only fourteen years old? He certainly looks cool, though, and didn’t appear nearly enough (but as a Kurt fan, I could be more than a little biased…). I personally prefer his teleport signature to the traditional one...his sparkly golden spiral LOOKS like a vortex ripped open in space/time. This version is possibly even more deadly than the Age of Apocalypse version, though, admittedly, he only killed for self-preservation. He was what Weapon X made him… Though he obviously managed to keep some of himself, some shred of his soul…he agonised over what they made him do, he wouldn’t let Storm become a killer as well, and he refused to take part in the human/mutant war. But with looks such as his, can he hide from the world forever?